


Dreams So Real

by TheBlindBandit



Series: Down To Bismuth [6]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Napping, Post-Episode s05e29-32 Change Your Mind, Sleeping Together, together after the war, week of bispearl 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 19:19:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17873267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlindBandit/pseuds/TheBlindBandit
Summary: Bismuth and Pearl take a stab at sleeping, starting with a proper afternoon nap in a nice patch of sun. Pearl doesn’t have the best of luck in this particular area, perhaps, and the past has a nasty habit of popping up, all light blue and glowing.





	Dreams So Real

Back in the day-

Well, as far back as about a couple of Earth weeks in Bismuth’s reckoning, but she was ready to acknowledge she was something of a special case. And _back in the day_ truly felt like the best way of thinking about it all, if she was to stand a chance of ever making proper use of the _now_.

So back in the day there’d been brief downtimes, just enough to patch up whoever and whatever could be patched up; there’d been boredom in endless-seeming waits during long, long ambushes and stakeouts; there’d been quiet times to get your remembering and commemorating and mourning done as best as you could; and there’d been, especially early on, tiny, uncertain snatches of being free to try to appreciate the planet you were fighting for. But there hadn’t really been _this_.

This was a lovely spring afternoon, utterly unoccupied and unspoken for even though Bismuth tended to keep herself pretty busy even now. It was nothing but warm and lazy all over, save, perhaps, for a fresh, lively breeze carrying the tang of the sea on it. Put together, it was all very Earth-y of the Earth, the way Bismuth saw it. A welcome change of pace - or return to form - after their thankfully brief Homeworld jaunt.

It wasn’t exactly a special occasion, but the point was - well, one of the points, at least - that there didn’t need to be one. That you could do something just because you felt like it, because you thought it might be nice to, that it might make you happy, or make someone you cared about happy. All good things, all entirely unthinkable on Homeworld.

So Bismuth stood in the middle of the currently empty beach house, contemplated the way the low afternoon sun lit up her handiwork all over the formerly free patch of floor ( _also_ her handiwork), and contemplated taking a very radical nap.

There wasn’t an actual bed present as much as a lot of pillows she’d collected and strategically arranged, and one large blanket, just warm and soft enough to provide a comfortable and comforting sensation, but not heavy enough to be oppressive. Yes, Bismuth could see it all working out very nicely.

She’d tried the sleeping thing a couple of brief times since her return and introduction to ‘new Crystal Gem rituals’, but it seemed she always had more to learn about the whole affair. The latest addition had been Steven introducing her to something called hot cocoa, which he’d termed a traditional bedtime drink. He’d seemed a bit startled when Bismuth immediately chugged the offered mug - but it had been soothing enough, and she’d quite liked feeling its warmth spread through her form. Not quite like a lava bath, but it’d do in a pinch.

Bismuth’s turn towards the kitchen for the purposes of repeating the experience and perhaps continuing her warm beverage experimentation was interrupted by the sound of the house’s near-miraculously insistent creaky door opening.

“Bismuth-? Oh, there you are!”

It was Pearl, of course, always a welcome sight. A bit more unusual, perhaps, to see her wandering around carrying a rather large cushion over which she could barely peek - though she seemed very determined to launch into an explanation immediately.

“I heard Amethyst mention you’d been looking for pillows and the like. So I thought, well, I can absolutely contribute. I’ve re-filed this one-,” she fluffed the comically oversized thing between her arms, barely, “-from where it was sorted under ‘C’ to ‘P’ and then back again several times now. I just can’t seem to make up my mind! It also occurred to me… well, after all the excitement recently… why not join you?”

“Join me? I was going to have a nap.”

Pearl looked up from where she’d just carefully placed her pillowy contribution with an expression of mild concern. “Yes…? That is, if you don’t mind. I can always just…” Her little hand gesture was neither here nor there, and her sudden general air of uncertainty seemed rather strange to Bismuth.

“ _Of course_ I don’t mind, Pearl! What an idea.” She hopped over a particularly lumpy pillow in order to be better able to put an encouraging hand on Pearl’s back. “When have you seen me pass up a chance to spend time in the company of my very favourite sword-wielding menace, huh? And with some cuddling possibly involved? Pshhh, it’s like you don’t know me.”

Pearl blushed that lovely blue - and her new jacket brought it out even more, Bismuth felt compelled to notice. Indeed it seemed to highlight and foster Pearl’s confidence in a way Bismuth couldn’t help but enjoy. Definitely one of her favourite editions of Pearl to date, this one. Grown into herself in a way that really spoke of the years that had passed, both the thousands since the war, and the dozen or so since… well.

Pearl cleared her throat, snapping them both out of their reveries.

“Anyway, yes, it’s something I’ve tried before, this sleep concept, to not much, er, success. And…” She mumbled something Bismuth didn’t manage to catch.

“Sorry, what was that?”

Pearl sighed. “Garnet all but banned me from the Fountain and ordered me to go home and get some rest.”

Of _course_ Garnet had a hand in this. Bismuth chortled, and happily took in the dirty look Pearl was throwing her in response. “Well, she’s not wrong. You _have_ been working hard without stopping… pretty much since we landed.”

“But there’s just so much to do!”

The wide-eyed, harried look on Pearl’s face was sadly familiar, too.

“I know,” Bismuth said softly, and ran a gentle hand down her back. “But it’s all gonna be there when you wake up, too, right? So what’s the harm in trying a bit of this relaxing stuff?”

Pearl heaved another long-suffering sigh. “I suppose it can’t hurt.”

“Not with this masterful cushion assembly it can’t. _Hup_ -!” Bismuth threw herself onto the nearest pile - the one where Pearl’s offering proudly resided, now also graced by a lovely, warm shimmer of sunbeam - and patted the spot next to her. “Come on down here, it’s great.”

Pearl acquiesced with a small smile that Bismuth wouldn’t really describe as anything but _tired_. And it seemed crystal clear to Bismuth that this was going to do the both of them a world of good. After all, those humans really did have a lot of promising ideas - building material preferences notwithstanding.

Soon enough, Pearl was pressed into Bismuth’s side quite happily, turning her face towards the sun and tugging a corner of the blanket over herself. The feeling of her there, so tangibly present and real, made a weight disappear off Bismuth’s shoulders that she hadn’t even really been aware of.

So she focused on trying to recapture that other feeling, of a very slow, comfortable sinking. Even out and slow down her own unnecessary breathing. Calm and quiet, but nothing like the forced stillness of a bubble. Warm, but not lava-warm. And Pearl, right there all along, snuggling in closer, only half aware she was doing so, making some of the sweetest little noises Bismuth had ever heard.

She looked so relaxed. Pearl was _never_ like this, instead endlessly high strung and tightly wound and always, always so close to some edge or other. Perhaps that was how she liked it and how she found she best fulfilled her own potential… or perhaps she’d just never learned how to be any way else, and thought she needed the excess caution and the constant (over)thinking so much.

That second notion was sad enough that Bismuth hurried to abandon the train of thought altogether. Instead, she took the, yes, alright, _rare_ chance to appreciate the moment for what it was. To appreciate Pearl.

Pearl, and the tiny eyelashes resting on lightly blue dusted cheeks. That long nose that looked best pointed proudly upwards, and that mouth that curled into some damn fine smirks. Long neck framed nicely by the jacket collar and lapels that spoke of elegance repurposed and reclaimed. The shoulders her new form called particular attention to, so much stronger than they looked and capable of bearing so much more weight than should ever have been their due. Those immensely capable hands, so different from Bismuth’s own and yet so similar in their efforts and dedication and habitual eager restlessness.

“I know you’re usually supposed to wish people a good night, but it’s hardly night, so I’m not sure what to say,” Pearl mumbled, sounding only barely half awake - it was something of a surprise to hear her at all.

Bismuth smiled and adjusted the pillow under her head, absolutely treasuring the moment. “You don’t have to say anything at all.”

There was truly something profoundly vulnerable about the entire concept of sleep, as well as something uncomfortably familiar about it that popped up in Bismuth’s mind and refused to leave. But there would be no ambushes or raids or a need to hastily abandon the current base anymore. No emergencies, probably, unless Peridot got up to something explosive or flammable again.

It was… okay. To try. As many times as she felt like.

Try peace. That thing they’d all yearned for and half-doubted they’d ever really see - or more than half, really. But here it was and here they were, against all odds, and here was Bismuth preparing to willingly disappear for a little while, and return to the world a tiny bit later.

But she _would_ return, again and again. Nothing could keep her away from this planet she’d chosen, or from the friends and comrades she’d thrown her lot in with so very long ago. That was a certainty, that was something she’d bet her very gem on. And the one very dear companion currently in her arms, sharing this with her and trusting her so openly, only made her resolve stronger.

In the end, the most Bismuth managed was an intermittent doze, but it was pleasant enough. Muddy awareness faded in and out, but Pearl was a constant at her side, a reassuring press of back and limbs against her and a comforting tug on their shared blanket.

Until-

The shrinking pink-orange light of dusk was marred by an odd blue glow Bismuth blinked at and tried to understand. When she shifted a bit, Pearl shifted against her even more, and turned away from burrowing into her side, rolling away just enough to face up-

Oh.

It was a hologram.

“Um… Pearl?” Bismuth mumbled, blearily. “What are you- Pearl?”

There was no answer, and Bismuth realised only then that she was still firmly asleep, and this didn’t appear to be anything voluntary.

The light took definite shape, and Bismuth found herself staring at an old, old battlefield, given shimmery bright blue life. And on it, a very recognisable sharp-edged, looming structure.

It was, it _had_ to be, the battle for the Ziggurat - the battle Bismuth had never seen. It was in full swing, maybe even winding down towards its end, one of those familiar hard-won almost-stalemates. No glorious victory to be celebrated, and no desperate retreat, either. Just… living to fight another day, for whoever was lucky enough to make it.

“Where is Bismuth?” Asked a tinny-voiced hologram of Pearl, looking over the field littered with stones and weapons, and Bismuth felt a sinking feeling wash over her.

She didn’t want to be seeing this. She wasn’t supposed to be watching this- this had to be some kind of… intrusion, and it certainly couldn’t be fair to Pearl.

“Pearl, hey, wake up.” She shook her shoulder lightly, then again a bit more sharply, but both to little effect.

“Where is Bismuth?” Asked a Garnet with that same tinny voice, and that was all kinds of wrong, wasn’t it, Garnet never asked _anything_ -

“Pearl, come on, snap out of it.”

The attempts to shake her awake were clearly not working, caught up as she was in… whatever this was, leaving Bismuth at a loss. And Bismuth didn’t ever want to be any real kind of rough towards Pearl, outside of the familiar setting of perfectly agreed-upon sparring sessions, of course, but that was its own thing - she’d made the mistake of treating Pearl as fragile once, a long time ago, and had quickly learned not to do so again.

Pearl’s brow was furrowed in distress, and the images were growing more disturbing and more abstract at the same time, battlefield now replaced by an endless bobbing sea of bubbles. She even made an upsetting noise or two, nearly drowned out by the insistent voices of the projected Crystal Gems.

_Where is Bismuth? Where is Bismuth? Whereisbismuthwhereisbismuth…_

Another approach, then. Bismuth untangled the bunched-up blanket from where it had gotten kicked away, and pulled it up and around Pearl - then wrapped herself around Pearl, too, and tried not to think of the thousands of years she’d missed.

“I’m right here, Pearl,” she murmured, with a squeeze and a kiss to her cheek when Pearl whimpered. “Right here and not going anywhere.”

And then, finally, finally, Pearl sprung awake with a gasping cry of _Bismuth!_ , long legs tangling in the blanket, almost elbowing Bismuth in the face. Her narrow chest was heaving, eyes wide and confused, every bit of her distraught.

Bismuth sat up too, and reached over to rub Pearl’s back with one hand as she struggled to calm down.

“I’m alright!” Pearl insisted, not very convincingly at all, as her hands clenched in the blanket on her lap. “It was just a dream! Nothing to worry about! Steven compared them to, oh, strange movies. I’d say it was something like a vision… like when Garnet does her… her…” She trailed off, but her breathing, at least, had evened out somewhat, even as her eyes still seemed to be gazing somewhere thousands of years into the past.

“C’mere,” Bismuth offered gently, arms open, and Pearl eagerly took her up on it, all but throwing herself into the embrace.

“I couldn’t find you anywhere,” Pearl murmured barely audibly somewhere around Bismuth’s left shoulder, clinging to her as if her life depended on it, and Bismuth squeezed back. “I looked and looked and looked and you weren’t _there_ , and I never wanted to stop looking, but-”

“Hey, hey, I’m here now, aren’t I? And there’s no… no war anymore to take me away.” _Being very tactful there, good job, Bismuth._

“Yes, you are, you’re _here_ ,” Pearl replied in a tiny wail as her shoulders started to shake in a way that was very, very familiar.

“Oh no, no, no, come on, don’t cry, I’m not going anywhere…”

Bismuth tried to distract herself by patting Pearl’s head and gently, soothingly running a hand through her hair, but to little effect - the minute Pearl started tearing up, she knew that was it for both of them.

As Pearl cried into her shoulder, Bismuth scrubbed her own tears away with her free hand, and the light streaming in from outside slowly dimmed, then turned to moonlight.

“Sorry,” Pearl whispered, pulling away and summoning a handkerchief from her gem to dab at her eyes.

“It’s okay,” Bismuth shrugged, keeping her own voice just steady enough. “Best to get it all out, I guess.”

Pearl smiled, tiny and still watery, but there all the same. “Very wise.”

“I’ve been known to be,” Bismuth chuckled. “Once or twice.”

Pearl swatted her arm lightly, then sat back, half-leaning against her. She seemed to be contemplating something with a degree of intensity Bismuth herself didn’t feel entirely capable of at the moment. She felt taken, instead, by the way Pearl’s gem glinted silver in the moonlight.

“We should try to go back to sleep,” Pearl murmured after what could have been a minute just as easily as half an hour. It was an unusually still evening, and they were both in an unusual mood.

Bismuth blinked. “You… want to try again?”

“Yes! Yes I do, I…” Pearl hesitated, then moved to smooth out the blanket once again, freeing it from both of them with a brief yank.

She lay down, pulling a very compliant Bismuth along with her. Then she promptly snuggled back in, Bismuth and blanket and all. “It actually feels very safe here. And very comfortable. And I don’t want to end on… that sour note. Not when we don’t have to.”

“I get you,” Bismuth agreed. She was, if she was being completely honest, immensely flattered. And entirely unopposed to Pearl’s idea, gladly holding her close with both arms and nestling back against the pillows, indulging in the feeling of Pearl’s soft hair tickling her neck and chin. Then, another thought from not so long ago, and a quick glance at the now fully moonlit evening outside. “Good night, Pearl.”

Bismuth felt the smallest, gentlest kiss just above her gem. “Good night.”

 

 

They only stirred awake as dawn was breaking.

**Author's Note:**

> Please take a look at [this lovely bit of fanart by sakakikaga on Tumblr](https://sakakikaga.tumblr.com/post/182450679435) which inspired a good chunk of this fic.


End file.
